Tuesday, November 11, 2014

2.5 Weeks Old

Sweet Sawyer-

I can't believe that you are almost 3 weeks old! If the past 2.5 weeks are any indication, then you're going to be heading off to kindergarten before I know it. I feel like you were just born yesterday, but I also feel like I've known you my whole life. I will admit, it's a little hard to share you. I had you all to myself for 9 months. I knew you before anyone else, felt you move before anyone else, and held you before anyone else... so sometimes it's hard to let you go and share you with the other people who love you. I'm working on it though.

These past 18 days have been quite the learning experience for me and your daddy. I hope that you continue to be patient with us while we figure this whole thing out! We're probably going to do a few things wrong along the way, but hopefully we'll get everything right soon.

Right now we're having a little trouble figuring out why you're having so much reflux and gas. At first we thought that you were allergic to milk, so I stopped eating dairy. That turned out not to be the case, so now we're back to square one. Let me tell you little man, it's the worst feeling in the world to know that you're hurting and know that I can't do anything to fix it right now. I really hope we figure it out soon. Just know that it's really hard for me to give up cheese! Macaroni and cheese was the only thing that you wanted me to eat while you were in my belly, and it's still all I want- so you should know that I love you more than mac n cheese. ;)

At 2.5 weeks, you are already so so strong. You try so hard to lift your head up and you push your feet off my arms when I'm holding you on my chest. You've also kicked the diaper out of your daddy's hand a few times when he's tried to change you. We've tried having you sleep in a bassinet and a few other baby seat things, but you don't really care for them. You'd rather sleep on my chest or curled up next to my side and honestly, that's what I prefer too. :)

You have the sweetest, chubbiest cheeks and the most gorgeous lips I've ever seen. I can't resist kissing them all the time. The best is when I give you a big kiss and the corner of your mouth lifts into the cutest grin I've ever seen in my life. I'm not wanting you to grow any faster than you already are, but I can't wait until you can give me kisses back!

You hate having your clothes and diaper changed. You scrunch your little legs up and it makes it really hard to get new diapers on you! Your daddy is becoming quite the pro at diaper changes; he's done way more than mommy has! You hate pacifiers. You'd much rather suck on mama's pinky finger. It's weird, but it's one of the only things that helps calm you down. You also hate for anyone to touch your feet or hands. This comes in handy when you fall asleep while nursing, because if I touch them you get mad and wake up! You get really hot all the time. You don't like to be swaddled because you get hot and you like to keep your hands free. We tried to have your newborn photos taken last week, but you got so hot you broke out in a rash and cried the whole time!

You love riding in the car. It only takes a few minutes in the car seat for you to fall asleep. We've taken quite a few 2am drives to try and get you to calm down and go to sleep! Speaking of sleep, your daddy and I are not getting much of it. I was really afraid that I would get frustrated at you for crying all the time or keeping me up all the time. But I know you can't help it. All it takes is for me to hold you and look at your face and the frustration leaves. It's an amazing feeling knowing that you know me and need me, and that I can comfort you and make you feel safe.

I know that being out here is new and scary for you, but I hope you're able to tell how much your daddy and I love you. There isn't a thing in the world that we wouldn't do for you. I absolutely can't wait to get to know you more. Will you love to dance and read like your mama? Or be into computers and music like your daddy? Whatever you decide to do and whoever you become, your daddy and I will support you 100%.

You're asleep right now beside me and I have to say that it takes all I have not to scoop you up and squeeze you and smother you with kisses. The love I feel for you is unimaginable and I know that your daddy feels the same way. I'll go on and tell you now that there will be times when we have no clue what we're doing or times when we completely get it wrong, but I can promise you that we will keep on trying until we get it right! I promise to always be here for you, to support you in anything you choose to do, and to love you more than anyone else in the world ever will.

Your mama.

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