Thursday, January 8, 2015

11 weeks.

Little Man-

You're going to be 11 weeks old tomorrow. I say it almost every day and I will probably continue to say it for the rest of your life...Where is the time going? You are growing so fast. You're learning new things every day and watching you learn is the best part of my day. In the past week or so you've figured out that you have hands, so now they are constantly in your mouth. You've also started reaching for your toys and you've figured out that you can hit the ones that dangle from your play mat. You love watching lights and listening to music, too.

You're drooling and blowing spit bubbles like crazy. If I didn't know better I would say you're trying to start teething, but I think you're too little for that. You are already starting to hate lying on my chest unless you're sleeping or in need of comfort; any other time you want to be facing out so that you can see what's going on around you. You're also holding your head up on your own for longer periods of time. You're growing physically, too. You're not quite 2.5 months old and you're already too long for most 3 month things!

These past two weeks have been a challenge, though. The week your daddy was sick, it was mostly just you and me. I think you got used to just having mommy snuggles because now you throw a fit when anyone else tries to hold you longer than a few minutes. I love holding you and loving on you, but sometimes I need a break. You also don't like to be put down for naps. You'll only sleep during the day if I'm holding you. You've gotta work on that, buddy. You've also decided that you hate taking bottles, which doesn't work when I have to leave to teach.

You're finally breastfeeding like a champ. The whole breastfeeding thing has been a struggle for both of us. You weren't able to nurse your whole first week, then once you started neither one of us were very good at it. Then we had all the tummy problems. Now the herbs I'm taking for low supply are giving you gas and making you upset. I've had many people tell me that they would have quit by now and I've had a few ask me why I haven't. For me, the answer is easy. I am literally the only person in the world who can do this for you, and you deserve it. I will do whatever I have to do to make sure that you have what you need.

I'll admit, it's not all about you though. It's purely selfish. I love nursing you. I love that when you're upset, you want and need me and I can calm you down instantly. When those little hands search and knead; when you trust me enough to close your eyes when your belly is full and drift off to sleep; when you stop sucking and just smile up at me...all of those things are worth more than all the foods I'm not allowed to eat. There was a moment earlier this week when you fell asleep while nursing. Your head fell back, you had milk running down your chin, and you sighed the biggest, most content sigh I have ever heard. That's a moment that I want to remember forever.

This is the hardest job I've ever had, but it is the most exciting and rewarding one too. You are everything, Mr. Sawyer Penn. I love you more than anything in this world and I always will, no matter what. You are so smart and sweet and you are the most beautiful baby I have ever seen (I'm biased, I know). When you smile (which is so often these days), there is nothing better. I can't wait to keep watching you grow!



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